——写给第十九层的人间
作者：鲁慧文
传说，
神创造万物，
阎王创造十八层地狱。
后来，
连阎王都沉默了。
他说：
“还有一种地方，
不归我管。”
那里，
有人把它叫作故乡。
孩子出生，
不是降临人间，
而是走进一座巨大的磨盘。
第一口奶，
父母先学会害怕；
第二口饭，
先学会辨认真假。
餐桌上的颜色，
比春天鲜艳；
配料表上的名字，
比化学名词还长。
没有人知道，
下一口吃下的是营养，
还是运气。
上学第一天，
老师递来的，
不是问题，
而是答案。
不是思考，
而是标准。
不是寻找真相，
而是寻找满分。
孩子们学会了
背诵、默写、服从，
却渐渐忘了，
为什么要发问。
一本本课本，
越来越厚；
一个个脑袋，
越来越整齐。
所有人，
都被修剪成相同的形状戴着红领巾。
少年时代，
天真开始收费。
有人担心考试，
有人担心未来，
有人担心，
自己会不会突然从世界消失，
成为别人身体的一部分。
街角、屏幕、流言、传闻，
都像夜里的风，
吹得人不敢回头。
于是，
人人把平安，
当成一种幸运。
成年以后，
人生忽然加速。
有人叫它奋斗，
有人叫它生存。
太阳还没升起，
工位已经亮灯；
月亮升到窗外，
键盘还在发光。
九九六，
只是开始；
零零七，
只是传说中的终点。
工资，
像一杯浅水，
刚够润湿嘴唇；
房价，
像一座高山，
六个钱包，
才能搬动一块砖。
年轻人把未来，
签进三十年的合同。
从此，
房子拥有了主人，
主人却成了房子的租客。
后来，
终于病了。
医院的大门，
像另一场考试。
号码，
排得比希望还长；
账单，
比诊断更让人发抖。
有人卖掉积蓄，
有人借来明天，
只为了再换几天今天。
白衣不再是天使，
眼里只有你余生的积蓄。
年老的时候，
终于退休。
却发现，
牙齿比工资掉得快，
头发比尊严白得早。
年轻时，
拿健康换收入；
年老时，
拿收入换健康。
兜兜转转，
不过是一场交换。
于是，
大部分中国人，
临死之前，
感觉自己并没有活过。
有人问阎王：
“第十九层，
到底有什么刑罚？”
阎王摇头。
“没有刀山，
没有火海，
没有铁链。”
“这里只有一台巨大的独裁机器。”
“它让人从出生开始奔跑，
一路奔向衰老。”
“路边摆满了诱惑，
脚下埋满了陷阱；
有人卖焦虑，
有人卖希望；
有人出售答案，
有人出售未来。”
“人们一边害怕，
一边相信；
一边怀疑，
一边继续。”
“直到最后，
把一生都交给了独裁机器。”
阎王合上生死簿，
轻轻叹息：
“真正可怕的，
从来不是地狱。”
“而是有人活了一辈子，
从未觉得，
自己值得拥有一个
不用恐惧、
不用欺骗、
不用麻木、
也不用不停奔跑的人生。”
于是，
第十九层，
没有恶鬼。
只有无数普通人，
他们努力活着，
努力忍耐，
努力相信，
总有一天，
下一代，
不必再走同一条路。
编辑：Gloria 校对：熊辩 翻译：戈冰
A Chinese Life
—Written for the Nineteenth Layer of the Human Realm
Author: Lu Huiwen
Legend has it,
God created all things,
And King Yama created the eighteen levels of hell.
Later,
Even King Yama fell silent.
He said:
“There is another place,
Which is not under my jurisdiction.”
There,
Some people call it home.
When a child is born,
It is not arriving in the human realm,
But walking into a giant millstone.
With the first mouthful of milk,
Parents first learn to fear;
With the second mouthful of food,
They first learn to distinguish real from fake.
The colors on the dining table
Are more vivid than spring;
The names on the ingredient list
Are longer than chemical terms.
No one knows
Whether the next bite swallowed is nutrition,
Or luck.
On the first day of school,
What the teacher hands over
Is not a question,
But an answer.
Not thinking,
But a standard.
Not searching for the truth,
But searching for a full score.
The children have learned to
Recite, dictatingly transcribe, and obey,
Yet have gradually forgotten
Why one asks questions in the first place.
Textbook after textbook
Grows thicker and thicker;
Head after head
Grows neater and neater.
Everyone
Is pruned into the identical shape, wearing red scarves.
In youth,
Innocence begins to come at a cost.
Some worry about exams,
Some worry about the future,
Some worry
Whether they will suddenly disappear from the world,
Becoming a part of someone else’s body.
Street corners, screens, rumors, hearsay,
All are like wind in the night,
Blowing so fiercely that people dare not look back.
Thus,
Everyone treats peace and safety
As a stroke of luck.
After reaching adulthood,
Life suddenly accelerates.
Some call it striving,
Some call it survival.
Before the sun has even risen,
The lights at the workstation are already lit;
When the moon climbs outside the window,
The keyboard is still glowing.
996
Is merely the beginning;
007
Is merely the legendary finish line.
Wages,
Like a shallow glass of water,
Are just enough to wet the lips;
Housing prices,
Like a high mountain—
It takes six wallets
Just to move a single brick.
Young people sign their future
Into a thirty-year contract.
From then on,
The house has an owner,
Yet the owner becomes a tenant of the house.
Later,
One finally falls ill.
The hospital gates
Are like another exam.
The queue numbers
Are longer than hope itself;
The bill
Makes one tremble even more than the diagnosis.
Some sell off their lifetime savings,
Some borrow from tomorrow,
Just to trade for a few more days of today.
White coats are no longer angels;
In their eyes, there is only the savings of the rest of your life.
In old age,
One finally retires.
Only to discover that
Teeth fall faster than wages,
And hair turns white earlier than dignity.
When young,
Exchanging health for income;
When old,
Exchanging income for health.
Going round and round in circles,
It is nothing more than an exchange.
Thus,
Most Chinese people,
Before lying on their deathbed,
Feel that they have never truly lived.
Someone asked King Yama:
“The nineteenth layer—
What kind of punishment is actually there?”
King Yama shook his head.
“There are no mountains of knives,
No seas of fire,
No iron chains.”
“There is only a giant dictatorial machine here.”
“It makes people run from the moment they are born,
Running all the way toward old age.”
“The roadside is filled with temptations,
And the ground beneath is buried with traps;
Some sell anxiety,
Some sell hope;
Some sell answers,
Some sell futures.”
“People fear
While believing;
They doubt
While pushing forward.”
“Until in the end,
They hand their entire lives over to the dictatorial machine.”
King Yama closed the Register of Life and Death,
And sighed softly:
“What is truly terrifying
Has never been hell.”
“It is that someone lived an entire lifetime,
Without ever feeling
That they deserved to have a life
Free from fear,
Free from deception,
Free from numbness,
And free from the constant need to keep running.”
Thus,
In the nineteenth layer,
There are no evil demons.
There are only countless ordinary people;
They strive to live,
Strive to endure,
Strive to believe that,
One day,
The next generation
Will not have to walk this same path.
Editor: Gloria Proofreader: Xiong Bian Translator: Ge Bing
