作者：田永德

杭州民运前辈徐光出狱了，瘦成了一道闪电，只有八十多斤，要知道曾经的他有一百五十多斤。

我与杭州前辈们的交集缘于2006年上海开六国峰会。当时，我在上海宝山打工，上海开六国峰会，而我被上海有关方面认定为不稳定因素。在与我沟通无果后，转而向我老板施压，为了不连累给我工作机会的老板，最终我妥协——在上海开六国峰会期间，我离开上海一个月。于是，我开始了“在祖国的大地上流浪”的生存模式（这句话是现在不活跃的一位朋友说的）。期间，我去了安徽，北京。密切关注我行程的警察知道我在北京后，惊慌失措，强烈要求我离开北京。一番讨价还价后，我到了杭州。

当朱虞夫大哥第一次刑期的七年结束后，我赶上了杭州前辈们为他接风。那一年，王荣清前辈向杭州朋友们介绍我是内蒙古民主党人，基于对民主党了解的浅薄，我谨慎表示我目前还不是民主党人，但我对杭州的前辈们表示最大的敬意。

2007年五月，我去杭州旅游，杭州有关部门像疯了一样，非要赶走我和胡俊雄这两个外地人，这件事导致的直接后果是，出狱不久的朱虞夫大哥被判刑两年，而我则是在杭州朋友的帮助下，顺利躲了一夜，然后离开杭州，去了成都。

2007年年底，吕耿松大哥被抓，我又从杭州跑到北京，想要为吕耿松大哥做点什么，希望能赶在开庭前让他出狱。为此，在熟人的指点下，我给毛泽东的秘书李锐先生写了一封信，希望他能过问此事，因为熟人告诉我，李锐与当时的浙江省委书记赵洪祝关系密切。事实证明，没有任何作用。而我只能在北京杭州两地来回跑，也只找了点小钱，以求慰藉我心。

2008年，我在北京由高洪明先生介绍加入中国民主党，同时接受了他的指派，回内蒙古领导并发展党员。（只是后来我每次回去都被当地国保暗示我应该离开，队长甚至说，我被内蒙古公安厅盯着，所以也就继续“在中国的大地上流浪”着。）。只是，每每看到杭州前辈们前仆后继飞蛾扑火般坐牢，让我难以承受。最难过的时候是，王荣清和王东海两位前辈去世后，当时在上海的我没办法去参加葬礼，因为我楼下有两个不明身份的人，监控了我整整两个月。为了不被上海再次赶走，我只好装孙子，这也成为我感觉愧对杭州前辈们的一件很重要的事。

徐光大哥在我眼里，就是一个大大咧咧的人，不管啥事都不放在心上。但他的底色就是那样的，就像朱虞夫大哥坐牢期间，他把朱虞夫的儿子招聘到自己的环保检测公司上班，丝毫不在意国保的施压。可是，就是这个大大咧咧的人，居然绝食了那么久，他甚至是想要用生命告诉中共，我，是你们永远打不倒的人！要知道，他有着优渥的生活，完全可以不这样。虚与委蛇？不是他的底色！于是，看着这个甚至有点粗糙的汉子，我知道了我的渺小。但，我对前辈们的敬意，更甚。

我感觉，杭州前辈们把同中共的斗争当作了自己的生活姿态，并不在意自己活得如何。就像吕耿松大哥，中共在他刑满释放后，给他送达剥夺政治权力通知，他一把撕了，全然不在乎。而他的妻子汪雪娥大姐，则是在吕耿松坐牢期间，卑鄙的国保忽悠她，让她和老吕离婚时，霸气十足地说了一句话：我们家老吕是全天下最好的男人！打压？仅此而已！我从汪雪娥大姐的身上，看到了杭州民主党人的风骨，因为她的丈夫就是顶天立地的男人，她的丈夫的兄弟也是如此。斗争而已，有什么大不了！

最近，徐光出狱了，我的两位兄长昝爱宗，邹巍还在坐牢。而我，特别担心的并不是这两位，而是徐光大哥。一百五十多斤的汉子，瘦成八十多斤，我特别担心他的脏器会出现不可逆损伤甚至病变。我已经失去了好几位让我敬重的杭州朋友，我不想看到徐光再有什么让我担忧的结果，因此写下这些文字，以抒胸臆。

民运同中共的斗争之残酷与艰辛远超所有人想象，但我从来没有看到杭州的前辈们有谁退缩过。海外的有些现象让我只能更加沉默，但幸好有杭州前辈们的珠玉在前，督促着我不能真正停下脚步。毕竟，斗争已经成为他们的生活姿态，我又有什么资格停滞不前呢？

编辑：胡丽莉

校对：王滨

翻译：戈冰

Struggle, a Stance of Life—Reflections Inspired by the Hangzhou Seniors

Author: Tian Yongde

Abstract: The author recalls his experiences interacting with the seniors of the Hangzhou democracy movement, praising the integrity and character of individuals such as Xu Guang, Lv Gengsong, and Zhu Yufu, who held fast to their beliefs and remained fearless in the face of suppression, while expressing deep concern and respect for Xu Guang’s physical condition after his release from prison.

Xu Guang, a senior of the Hangzhou democracy movement, has been released from prison. He has become as thin as a flash of lightning, weighing only a little over eighty catties—one must keep in mind that he used to weigh over a hundred and fifty catties.

The intersection between myself and the Hangzhou seniors originated in 2006 during the Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO) summit. At that time, I was working as a migrant worker in Baishan, Shanghai. As Shanghai was hosting the SCO summit, I was designated by the relevant authorities in Shanghai as an unstable element. After communication with me yielded no results, they turned to pressure my boss. In order not to implicate the boss who had given me a job opportunity, I ultimately compromised—I would leave Shanghai for one month while the SCO summit was being held. Thus, I began a survival mode of “wandering across the land of the motherland” (a phrase coined by a friend who is no longer active now). During this period, I went to Anhui and Beijing. The police, who were closely monitoring my itinerary, threw themselves into panic and disarray upon learning I was in Beijing, and intensely demanded that I leave. After a round of bargaining, I arrived in Hangzhou.

When Big Brother Zhu Yufu finished the seven years of his first prison sentence, I managed to catch up with the Hangzhou seniors hosting a welcome-back dinner for him. That year, Senior Wang Rongqing introduced me to the Hangzhou friends as a member of the Democracy Party from Inner Mongolia. Based on my shallow understanding of the Democracy Party, I cautiously stated that I was not yet a member of the Democracy Party at present, but I expressed my highest respect to the seniors in Hangzhou.

In May 2007, I went to Hangzhou for tourism. The relevant departments in Hangzhou acted as if they had gone mad, absolutely insisting on expelling the two of us outsiders, Hu Junxiong and myself. The direct consequence brought about by this incident was that Big Brother Zhu Yufu, who had not been out of prison for long, was sentenced to two years in prison; as for me, with the help of Hangzhou friends, I successfully hid for a night, and then left Hangzhou for Chengdu.

At the end of 2007, Big Brother Lv Gengsong was arrested. I rushed from Hangzhou to Beijing again, wanting to do something for Big Brother Lv Gengsong, hoping to get him out of prison before the court went into session. To this end, under the guidance of an acquaintance, I wrote a letter to Mr. Li Rui, the former secretary to Mao Zedong, hoping he could look into this matter, because the acquaintance told me that Li Rui had a close relationship with Zhao Hongzhu, who was the Secretary of the Zhejiang Provincial Party Committee at the time. Facts proved that it was of absolutely no use. Consequently, I could only run back and forth between Beijing and Hangzhou, and managed to find only a small amount of money, merely seeking to bring some solace to my own heart.

In 2008, I was introduced by Mr. Gao Hongming in Beijing to join the China Democracy Party. At the same time, I accepted his assignment to return to Inner Mongolia to lead and develop party members. (It was just that afterward, every time I went back, I was dropped hints by the local Domestic Security Department [Guobao] that I should leave. The captain even said that I was being watched by the Inner Mongolia Public Security Department, so I just continued “wandering across the land of China.”) However, time and again, seeing the Hangzhou seniors wave after wave going to prison like moths to a flame was more than I could bear. The most painful time was when the two seniors, Wang Rongqing and Wang Donghai, passed away; at that time, being in Shanghai, I had no way to attend their funerals because there were two unidentified individuals downstairs who monitored me for two full months. In order not to be driven out of Shanghai again, I had no choice but to play the coward, which has also become a major matter for which I feel I have failed the Hangzhou seniors.

In my eyes, Big Brother Xu Guang has always been a casual, easygoing person who never takes anything to heart. But his true colors are exactly like that. For instance, while Big Brother Zhu Yufu was in prison, he hired Zhu Yufu’s son to work at his own environmental testing company, utterly indifferent to the pressure from the Domestic Security Department. Yet, it was this very easygoing man who actually went on a hunger strike for so long; he even wanted to use his life to tell the Chinese Communist Party (CCP): I am someone you will never defeat! One must know that he lived a well-to-do life and absolutely did not have to be this way. Dealing with them superficially through false compliance? That is not in his character! Thus, looking at this man who was even a bit rough around the edges, I came to realize my own smallness. But my respect for the seniors grew even greater.

I feel that the Hangzhou seniors have taken the struggle against the CCP as their very stance of life, completely uncaring of how they themselves live. Take Big Brother Lv Gengsong for example: after he completed his prison sentence, the CCP served him a notice of deprivation of political rights, and he tore it to pieces in one swift motion, utterly unconcerned. As for his wife, Big Sister Wang Xue’e—when the despicable Domestic Security Department tried to hoodwink her while Lv Gengsong was in prison, urging her to divorce Old Lv, she said a phrase with absolute, domineering pride: “Our Old Lv is the best man in the whole world!” Suppression? That’s all it amounts to! From the person of Big Sister Wang Xue’e, I saw the integrity and character of the Hangzhou Democracy Party members, because her husband is a man who stands tall between heaven and earth, and her husband’s brothers are the same. It is merely a struggle, what is the big deal!

Recently, Xu Guang was released from prison, while my two elder brothers, Zan Aizong and Zou Wei, are still in prison. Yet, the one I am particularly worried about is not those two, but Big Brother Xu Guang. A man of over a hundred and fifty catties has withered down to a little over eighty catties; I am deeply worried that his internal organs might suffer irreversible damage or even pathological changes. I have already lost several Hangzhou friends whom I deeply respected, and I do not want to see any more outcomes regarding Xu Guang that would cause me grief. Therefore, I write these words to express what is in my heart.

The cruelty and hardship of the democracy movement’s struggle against the CCP far exceed anyone’s imagination, but I have never seen a single one of the Hangzhou seniors flinch or back down. Certain phenomena overseas leave me with no choice but to remain even more silent, but fortunately, the flawless examples set by the Hangzhou seniors stand before me, urging me that I cannot truly halt my steps. After all, struggle has already become their stance of life—what right do I have to stand still and make no progress?

Editor: Hu Lili

Proofreader: Wang Bin

Translator: Ge Bing